haven’t had enough sleep, haven’t been eating properly and worrying too much about people i can’t help and things i can’t change.
going to the advanced yoga class waaay too early yesterday morning (brilliant, but how can i go back to normal classes after this??) was painfully good; going for rock-climbing after that was even better.
there is now not a single section of my body that is not in pain.
the shower at 11 pm and hugging the cat last night was the last straw.
am now feverish and down with a runny nose and sore throat.
boo hoo.
(but at least mr sexy is around, thank god for small mercies, yay)
Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
knuckle deep inside the borderline
all the googling and talk about maynard made me dig up all my tool albums again.
and have been listening to them non-stop.
perhaps not a good idea when i am also reading john irving and haruki murakami simultaneously.
it's doing my head in.
i should change books.
or music.
and decompress.
and have been listening to them non-stop.
perhaps not a good idea when i am also reading john irving and haruki murakami simultaneously.
it's doing my head in.
i should change books.
or music.
and decompress.
[postscript 27/04/07. still fixed on tool. miraculously listening to them no longer makes me depressed/angry. have gone beyond depression and anger and out the other side. like achieving neutral bouyancy. have abandoned murakami and irving for now in favour of anthony bourdain. have listened to wings for marie (part 1) and 10,000 days (wings, part 2) pretty close to a thousand times by now. it's funny the things you discover a year after buying the album].
Friday, April 20, 2007
your love not to grow cold
tagged by des.
The rules:
1. Go to Pop Culture Madness site.
2. Pick the year you turn 18 years old.
3. Get yourself nostalgic over the songs that year.
4. Write something about how those songs affected you.
5. Pass it on to five more friends.
so.
1989.
i’d love to be able to say it was a very good year. but it wasn’t, not really.
what it was, was the year that i got my driver’s licence.
the year i left the “nest” and met and lived with a whole bunch of people who didn’t have the same taste in music as me.
the year i started eating fast food with a vengeance.
the year i fell in love with my friend.
1989.
#1 - all i want is you – u2
actually, i am cheating a bit and twisting the years around. this was released as a single in 1989 but my memory of this song comes earlier, from the u2 documentary-movie rattle and hum, released end of 1988.
it was showing the saturday before my SPM bahasa malaysia paper. i rang up rex (god i miss that cinema!!) and they told me it wont last the week, so i stated my reasons to my mum and she let me go.
there were probably 6 people in the entire cinema (4 at the end of it), two of whom were guys sitting in front of me and who offered me some gum halfway through, probably to shut me up from singing along.
this song was playing at the end of the movie and will always, always make me think of being alone in a big dark empty cinema with the credits rolling up…
all the promises we break
from the cradle to the grave
when all i want
is you
#2 - love song - the cure
i will always love this song.
the one and only version worth listening to.
well, except maybe for maynard james keenan (another baldie to put in my list!)’s version, segued with ozzy osbourne’s diary of a madman, the chorus for which has my favourite added line:
sanity now and beyond me
i will always love you …
and of course, the ultimate song for when you are 18, which came out at exactly the right year for me:
#3 - 18 and life – skid row
i thought sebastian bach was one of the most beautiful men in the world.
jelita, is the correct word for him.
i used to listen to them on my walkman at full blast while doing my accountancy homework. i think i still have the cassette somewhere. can’t say the same for my hearing.
odd that i think of this song now, what with what happened at virginia tech...
he fired his six-shot to the wind
that child
blew a child
away
[useless piece of trivia – one day after class 4-5 years later f and i were at virgin megastore tottenham court road, and there was a very very long line of (mostly) long haired blokes in leather, studs and chains. naturally i asked one of the cuter ones what he was lining up for. apparently skid row were there signing autographs (yes, i was in the same room as rachel bolan (l!!) and sebastian). queue was too long so i didn’t bother. what an idiot i was.]
……………………
i just realize that i was 18 years old 18 years ago.
good god, has it been that long??
…………………….
there’s a whole bunch of other songs from 1989 at the popculturemadness site. most of them were truly sappy ones. there are on the other hand some which did affect me but no one else would have heard of. so i just wont list them here.
who to tag? must i?
just for the fun of it:
mal
miss j (yes, you, hop to it!)
............................
postscript
while looking to see if i could find maynard’s lovesong on youtube found this instead (one of my favourites as well).
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-SxHJBMrVhI&mode=related&search=
(and damn me if maynard here does not bear more than a passing resemblance to the tangerine coloured agent!)
tori amos is so darned lucky.
she is chums with neil gaiman and she has maynard to sing her lullabies.
waaaahh…!!
The rules:
1. Go to Pop Culture Madness site.
2. Pick the year you turn 18 years old.
3. Get yourself nostalgic over the songs that year.
4. Write something about how those songs affected you.
5. Pass it on to five more friends.
so.
1989.
i’d love to be able to say it was a very good year. but it wasn’t, not really.
what it was, was the year that i got my driver’s licence.
the year i left the “nest” and met and lived with a whole bunch of people who didn’t have the same taste in music as me.
the year i started eating fast food with a vengeance.
the year i fell in love with my friend.
1989.
#1 - all i want is you – u2
actually, i am cheating a bit and twisting the years around. this was released as a single in 1989 but my memory of this song comes earlier, from the u2 documentary-movie rattle and hum, released end of 1988.
it was showing the saturday before my SPM bahasa malaysia paper. i rang up rex (god i miss that cinema!!) and they told me it wont last the week, so i stated my reasons to my mum and she let me go.
there were probably 6 people in the entire cinema (4 at the end of it), two of whom were guys sitting in front of me and who offered me some gum halfway through, probably to shut me up from singing along.
this song was playing at the end of the movie and will always, always make me think of being alone in a big dark empty cinema with the credits rolling up…
all the promises we break
from the cradle to the grave
when all i want
is you
#2 - love song - the cure
i will always love this song.
the one and only version worth listening to.
well, except maybe for maynard james keenan (another baldie to put in my list!)’s version, segued with ozzy osbourne’s diary of a madman, the chorus for which has my favourite added line:
sanity now and beyond me
i will always love you …
and of course, the ultimate song for when you are 18, which came out at exactly the right year for me:
#3 - 18 and life – skid row
i thought sebastian bach was one of the most beautiful men in the world.
jelita, is the correct word for him.
i used to listen to them on my walkman at full blast while doing my accountancy homework. i think i still have the cassette somewhere. can’t say the same for my hearing.
odd that i think of this song now, what with what happened at virginia tech...
he fired his six-shot to the wind
that child
blew a child
away
[useless piece of trivia – one day after class 4-5 years later f and i were at virgin megastore tottenham court road, and there was a very very long line of (mostly) long haired blokes in leather, studs and chains. naturally i asked one of the cuter ones what he was lining up for. apparently skid row were there signing autographs (yes, i was in the same room as rachel bolan (l!!) and sebastian). queue was too long so i didn’t bother. what an idiot i was.]
……………………
i just realize that i was 18 years old 18 years ago.
good god, has it been that long??
…………………….
there’s a whole bunch of other songs from 1989 at the popculturemadness site. most of them were truly sappy ones. there are on the other hand some which did affect me but no one else would have heard of. so i just wont list them here.
who to tag? must i?
just for the fun of it:
mal
miss j (yes, you, hop to it!)
............................
postscript
while looking to see if i could find maynard’s lovesong on youtube found this instead (one of my favourites as well).
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-SxHJBMrVhI&mode=related&search=
(and damn me if maynard here does not bear more than a passing resemblance to the tangerine coloured agent!)
tori amos is so darned lucky.
she is chums with neil gaiman and she has maynard to sing her lullabies.
waaaahh…!!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
curiosity kills
whatever made me look??
but look i did, and what i saw was …
a baby car seat in mr sexy’s x5.
sigh.
all the good ones are married ...
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
pretty in pink
no, not that horror of a movie with molly ringwald back in the days of big hair and plastic clip-on earrings.
my office chair had been sinking again, and needed to be re-adjusted every 5 minutes.
boss gave me the green light to get a new one.
so delirious with power and choice, i ordered – wait for it – a dusky old pink coloured one (never mind that the carpet is a greyish blue and my table and cabinets are a light brown) to brighten up the room; colour coordination be damned.
when i was younger i used to be quite allergic to pink.
it’s a girly girl colour, i would cry.
it’s against my principles/religion/pantang tok nenek!
looking at my laundry blowing in the wind recently, it’s kind of a shock to realize i actually have quite a few items in the colour.
gawd.
guess now that i am all grown up (har har, old, more like), i am a girl after all.
trying to reclaim my lost youth, mayhaps?
(postscript – chair finally arrived yesterday. it’s darker and more pink than i thought. oo-er. i love it!)
my office chair had been sinking again, and needed to be re-adjusted every 5 minutes.
boss gave me the green light to get a new one.
so delirious with power and choice, i ordered – wait for it – a dusky old pink coloured one (never mind that the carpet is a greyish blue and my table and cabinets are a light brown) to brighten up the room; colour coordination be damned.
when i was younger i used to be quite allergic to pink.
it’s a girly girl colour, i would cry.
it’s against my principles/religion/pantang tok nenek!
looking at my laundry blowing in the wind recently, it’s kind of a shock to realize i actually have quite a few items in the colour.
gawd.
guess now that i am all grown up (har har, old, more like), i am a girl after all.
trying to reclaim my lost youth, mayhaps?
(postscript – chair finally arrived yesterday. it’s darker and more pink than i thought. oo-er. i love it!)
Monday, April 16, 2007
don’t look back
it was a fairly quiet weekend.
parents and bro are in mekah for umrah.
am left alone with cat.
it’s good to be on my own for a while.
spent the better part of saturday in the pareo i bought in pulau.
swept the front of house, watered plants, made edible basil chicken (with my suddenly blooming transplanted potted plants bought at cold storage), watched a daft movie with nicole kidman in it, slept.
it can however be a bit scary in an empty house by yourself, with two sets of retired, hard of hearing pensioners as neighbours who go to sleep with the chickens.
as a result, cat gets to stay indoors longer than she normally would.
two gals keeping each other company.
i also have two torch lights around me at all times.
just in case.
………………………….
the thought of being alone at home made me think and re-think whether or not i should watch jangan pandang belakang (don’t look back) - touted as the scariest malay movie ever -on sunday.
i needn’t have thought so much about it.
from the very first giggle 4 minutes into the movie, i was lost.
after that, every flaw was compounded ten-fold; every unexplained plot hole, every excess smoke in the attempt to achieve that hazy look, the continuous non-expression on the face of the leading lady (sure, my identical twin sister inexplicably killed herself yesterday after leaving me a frantic voicemail, but i’m fine and dandy, thanks), every time the “ghost” flexed her long fingernails, every time jalaludin hassan spoke… sigh.
looking at the main ghost in the movie i felt the need to offer her some john frieda’s frizz ease, poor woman.
therose and i ended up laughing so much, i didn’t even have to watch a comedy after to make me forget the movie (as i would normally do after a ghost story).
pierre andre, you are a good looking dude, and i loved you in cinta and gol and gincu, but for now, no more scripts please, just stick to acting. and watch more movies for inspiration.
please.
malaysian filmmakers still don’t seem to get it: what scares us to the bones is not necessarily what we can see right in front of us, but most times it’s what we can’t see.
in fact, i can’t even remember how the movie ended, except that there was a boiled corn in the ubiquitous pink/orange plastic bag involved (are you shaking in your boots yet?).
but of course, one good thing came out of it.
the YM catchphrase for my colleague and i whenever mr sexy makes his appearance is now … jangan pandang belakang …
parents and bro are in mekah for umrah.
am left alone with cat.
it’s good to be on my own for a while.
spent the better part of saturday in the pareo i bought in pulau.
swept the front of house, watered plants, made edible basil chicken (with my suddenly blooming transplanted potted plants bought at cold storage), watched a daft movie with nicole kidman in it, slept.
it can however be a bit scary in an empty house by yourself, with two sets of retired, hard of hearing pensioners as neighbours who go to sleep with the chickens.
as a result, cat gets to stay indoors longer than she normally would.
two gals keeping each other company.
i also have two torch lights around me at all times.
just in case.
………………………….
the thought of being alone at home made me think and re-think whether or not i should watch jangan pandang belakang (don’t look back) - touted as the scariest malay movie ever -on sunday.
i needn’t have thought so much about it.
from the very first giggle 4 minutes into the movie, i was lost.
after that, every flaw was compounded ten-fold; every unexplained plot hole, every excess smoke in the attempt to achieve that hazy look, the continuous non-expression on the face of the leading lady (sure, my identical twin sister inexplicably killed herself yesterday after leaving me a frantic voicemail, but i’m fine and dandy, thanks), every time the “ghost” flexed her long fingernails, every time jalaludin hassan spoke… sigh.
looking at the main ghost in the movie i felt the need to offer her some john frieda’s frizz ease, poor woman.
therose and i ended up laughing so much, i didn’t even have to watch a comedy after to make me forget the movie (as i would normally do after a ghost story).
pierre andre, you are a good looking dude, and i loved you in cinta and gol and gincu, but for now, no more scripts please, just stick to acting. and watch more movies for inspiration.
please.
malaysian filmmakers still don’t seem to get it: what scares us to the bones is not necessarily what we can see right in front of us, but most times it’s what we can’t see.
in fact, i can’t even remember how the movie ended, except that there was a boiled corn in the ubiquitous pink/orange plastic bag involved (are you shaking in your boots yet?).
but of course, one good thing came out of it.
the YM catchphrase for my colleague and i whenever mr sexy makes his appearance is now … jangan pandang belakang …
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
bronzed
ok, legam more like but bronzed sounds better.after much delay (airasia, surprise, surprise) we finally reached pulau (sans mraccenture who had a fever and would follow the next day).
had our brush up skills (hey its been 6 months!!) the next morning followed by open water dive 3 in the afternoon with surface swim and underwater compass navigation (and 2 blue spotted stingrays, no less!).
also had our first backroll entry with only fins and mask for the surface compass navigation.
i wont lie and say my heart didn’t lurch when i saw how deep the water was after 25 cycles of finning, and me just with my mask and fins (i am not the best swimmer in the world).
had some trouble (leakage) with my mask, and the sensation of having water in my nose/throat while trying to breathe through my mouth while at the bottom of the sea is not the most pleasant one (note to self – buy own mask!!).
lost my left contact lens with my wise decision to keep my eyes open during the first fully kitted backroll entry (open water dive 4), and attempts to put it back in failed miserably and the sea soon claimed it.
passed our exams in the afternoon : )
.....................
thereafter day 4, 5 and 6 passed pretty much as follows:
wake up around 8, stretch, shower (variation – day 5 I did callanetics at 7 am, and yoga later in the p.m. while instructing mraccenture on callanetics)
have breakfast on beach with toes digging in the sand.
lazily move self either on pareo on beach or in hammock and read, and sleep.
read a bit more and sleep more.
nibble on choccies.
lazily wonder what time it was.
change into swimsuit and head to dive centre.
after post-dive briefing call up mraccenture and have some food, reading a bit more in between.
go back to room, shower, nap a bit.
at around 7 pm, go out to look for dinner. read or play cards (‘declare’) while waiting.
stuff ourselves silly.
finish by 9.15, 9.30, in bed by 9.30/ 10pm (seriously).
had 8 – 10 hours sleep every single night.
bliss.
............................
i was trying to decide which picture to put up – the one taken at tuna bay resort during our first day lunch (after a 20 minute trek through the jungle), with the lone coconut tree, white umbrella and clear and beautiful demarcations of the dark blue/lighter blue/ lights blue / green sea and blue sky, or the one of my feet in the hammock against the blue green water and blue sky or of that lone coconut on the beach on the pristine white sand with the surf breaking in the background…
or even the picture of mraccenture he had given the green light to put up here..
but alas …, its not to be. we had a bit of an accident with the camera, and all pics were lost (pic of our pretty blonde danish instructor suzanne, and our cute dive masters R -the winner of lita's most beautiful pair of eyes on a male award 2007 and P, various kids of all races, etc .... sigh).
pics here are from our 2005 trip.
so now we just have to go back and take some more!!
wake up around 8, stretch, shower (variation – day 5 I did callanetics at 7 am, and yoga later in the p.m. while instructing mraccenture on callanetics)
have breakfast on beach with toes digging in the sand.
lazily move self either on pareo on beach or in hammock and read, and sleep.
read a bit more and sleep more.
nibble on choccies.
lazily wonder what time it was.
change into swimsuit and head to dive centre.
after post-dive briefing call up mraccenture and have some food, reading a bit more in between.
go back to room, shower, nap a bit.
at around 7 pm, go out to look for dinner. read or play cards (‘declare’) while waiting.
stuff ourselves silly.
finish by 9.15, 9.30, in bed by 9.30/ 10pm (seriously).
had 8 – 10 hours sleep every single night.
bliss.
............................
i was trying to decide which picture to put up – the one taken at tuna bay resort during our first day lunch (after a 20 minute trek through the jungle), with the lone coconut tree, white umbrella and clear and beautiful demarcations of the dark blue/lighter blue/ lights blue / green sea and blue sky, or the one of my feet in the hammock against the blue green water and blue sky or of that lone coconut on the beach on the pristine white sand with the surf breaking in the background…
or even the picture of mraccenture he had given the green light to put up here..
but alas …, its not to be. we had a bit of an accident with the camera, and all pics were lost (pic of our pretty blonde danish instructor suzanne, and our cute dive masters R -the winner of lita's most beautiful pair of eyes on a male award 2007 and P, various kids of all races, etc .... sigh).
pics here are from our 2005 trip.
so now we just have to go back and take some more!!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
did you miss me, mr sexy??
it’s good to be back just to see mr. sexy again, haha.
wearing a tie yesterday, no less.
i wonder if he noticed i was gone for a whole week? (yeah yeah i know i should post about pulau but it will take a while, so bear with me…).
he did look over noticeably more than he normally does yesterday (yes, darling, it is me), bless his beautiful bald head.
been thinking about this obsession of mine (bald heads that is, not mr. sexy per se) and realize its not actually a newly acquired taste, but has been around for quite a while.
baldies (or near enough as makes no difference) who curl my fins (in no particular order):
wearing a tie yesterday, no less.
i wonder if he noticed i was gone for a whole week? (yeah yeah i know i should post about pulau but it will take a while, so bear with me…).
he did look over noticeably more than he normally does yesterday (yes, darling, it is me), bless his beautiful bald head.
been thinking about this obsession of mine (bald heads that is, not mr. sexy per se) and realize its not actually a newly acquired taste, but has been around for quite a while.
baldies (or near enough as makes no difference) who curl my fins (in no particular order):
- the admiral person (aj) in jag
- lex luthor in smallville
- damon wayans in in living colour
- kevin spacey in anything
- mr. sexy
- mr. sexy
- mr. sexy
hrmmm, could’ve sworn there were more.
will add to list when i remember.
now i should get back to work.
darn.
Monday, April 09, 2007
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