amnesia lane

the year i came back from london for good, was a year of firsts.

it was my first tropical raya after three years of wearing 70 denier tights underneath my baju kurung.

we also had, for the first time in 14 years, a next door neighbour.

stifled from the heat i took off my baju kurung as soon as humanly possible after lunch, changed into my then most comfortable outfit – my ¾ leggings and baggy pearl jam alive t-shirt, and went into my room for an afternoon nap.

voices outside later woke me up.

curious and groggy from sleep, i came out of my room (which opens straight into the tv room/dining room), still in my pj t-shirt and leggings, with my long curly hair a total freaky mess from the combination of humidity and sleep.

and there, right in front of me, was my new neighbour’s entire family, resplendent in their baju melayus and baju kurungs and kebayas.

also for the first time since we lived there, apparently neighbours actually came a-visiting on raya day itself.

one of the sons (who is a fairly successful actor, and has a fancy car), had, as luck would have it, brought his then lady friend with him.

she was skinny tall and booby (you notice a trend here?) with long straight hair (not a single strand out of place), and wore a bright orange kebaya that looked like it was painted on.

my initial reaction upon seeing the neighbour family was “oh shit”.

my reaction on seeing supermodel-esque woman in her second-skin outfit, fully aware of how i looked at that particular point in time, was “OH FUCK”.

i could care less about the actor or his girlfriend, really.

but that feeling of mortification, bottomless sinking feeling coupled with complete inadequacy, visits me, not often, but once in a long while.

and for some inexplicable irrational and totally unrelated reason, it visited me that night in the parking lot seeing my mr sexy casually stroll to his ultra fancy car.

instantly i was back in that hot afternoon, and the sinking realization that there must surely be a perfect orange clad beauty somewhere for my mr sexy too.

and i went, “OH FUCK”.