.. is the title of the indonesian movie i saw with therose on friday night, about polygamy, and how it affects the women.my first introduction to polygamy was when my uncle took a second wife. all i remember were the tears, lots and lots of tears, and the feeling of complete and utter helplessness we all felt, rallying around my aunt when we heard.
there was nothing that any of us could do; it was already done.
i was probably eight years old.
consciously or subconsciously, that incident shaped my decision to never ever get involved with a married man.
at the root of everything was the thought that, i couldn’t do that to another woman.
i have also always wondered how polygamy affected the children, especially the males. would they treat women with more respect, or less? would they be like their fathers, or vow never to be like them?
the first story (there’s three) in this movie at least provides an insight (and a happy one, that i share) (oh, and the actor is kinda cute too).
the other two stories are equally interesting (the second one has a twist), though by the time you get to the third story it’s all said and done.
not to be seen on a friday night when you are tired; see it on a weekend afternoon, and discuss it over coffee after.
better still, watch it with a guy.
7 comments:
hrm... just like cinta, ive been hearing a lot bout this movie. maybe one day i'll actually go and watch the movies people talk about.
there's nothing wrong with polygamy. it's something that's allowed in islam. but, men should look at the whole picture before proceeding with the idea.
often, 'ikut sunnah nabi' is quoted. yet, the same fellas fail to follow this when it comes to nafkah, tlc or even basic things like prayers & fasting.
my personal opinion is.. sorang pun tak larat, mau tambah dua ka?
mal - ish you ni kan. go watch cepat! this one kalau sampai tv pun will be censored silly.
des - there is something wrong with polygamy the way it is practiced here in this country.
malacca at one point allowed poligamous men to qualify for low cost housing for their second wives. can't afford to house your second wife? the state will help you.
that is taking 'sunnah nabi' and turning it on its head.
yup desparil, agree witcha.
at the end of the day and just like almost everything else in the world, its the implementation that is incorrect. so far, from my observations of people who practice polygamy and those who live within polygamy, nobody looks really happy.
too many bloody tears and sob stories. But then again, somebody would argue out that there will always be unhappiness even if u dont practice polygamy.
having more than one wife is akin to having more than one of everything = inlaws, relatives, family problems etc. tis quite a task, not only financially but spiritually & mentally. how to handle?
it probably requires losta patience etc. a better man can implement it correctly with minimum of hassle. maybe... but are their any better men around?
look at their wives, u can see the anger/resentment in their eyes, even when years have passed. theres always an undercurrent of seething fire when u talk to them.
i dunno how the men handle all these things. probably, the same way some men always do, park it in a room of the mind and concentrate on work...
maybe i'm looking at it wrongly. maybe perfection and minimum stress isnt supposed to come with it. its just life, maybe.hrm.. but tell that to a kid who doesnt have his dad around or to the wife who spends most of her time shopping & indulging in petty schedules desparately, to just push away the hurt, gloom, betrayal...
damn... tis supposed to be a comment, not a blog post. hahahah. sorry lita for taking space with me ramblings!
somehow, the guys who go to spas/karaokes look happier and their wives who dont know or do know but dismiss it as a guy thing, seem happier... hrm... food for thought...
speaking of which... where's the best steak eh? real steak, medium rare and no silly sauces...
whoops, sorry lita. im taking space again.
mal - at root of it is probably denial, which probably everyone practices at some time of their lives. sometimes you need to pretend just to get through. people disappoint, feelings change but marriage is (supposed to be) for life.
in the end you do whatever it takes to get you through the day.
no worries about rambling, ramble away!
re: steak - missj would know, she likes 'em rare and bloody.
i like this movie very the very much! glad u like it too :-) limited screening! cepat tgk sblm terlambat!
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